Today is November 19th, the day my heart broke
by Roza Chameleon Redbird
Summary: Today is November 19th, the day Cam's dad disappeared. Now Rachel is at home sitting in her room wishing for a miracle. It takes place twelve years from now and is to Vanilla Twilight by Owl City. Its about Chris's and Rachel's undying love. R&R Please.
1. Longing of Love

**My first songfic =] **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gallagher Girls, Ally Carter does. I don't own Vanilla Twilight, Owl City does.**

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_November 19th _

_The stars lean down to kiss you  
__I lie awake and miss you  
__Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere_

Today is November 19th the day Chris disappeared, I sit here staring at the ceiling wishing that he'll appear. Silent tears go down my cheeks as I think of his smile. How could this have happened? He promised to come home. But I should know better than anyone, promises can be broken.

**Today is November 19****th****, the day I disappeared. I sit here on the ground wishing it all was a dream. My arms scream in pain but I'm used to it by now, 25 years I've been here, and that's never going to change. I miss my old life, especially my old wife. How could have this have happened? I promised I'd come home, but I should know in our world promises can't be held.**

'_Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly  
__But I'll miss your arms around me  
__I'd send a postcard to you, dear  
_'_Cause I wish you were here_

I slowly begin to drift off, hoping that you'll be here when I wake up. To tell me all those jokes and bless our daughter's marriage. Oh Chris, we both miss you but I know there's no hope in finding you. But I can't help feeling optimistic that you're still alive out there.

**The pain is becoming too much, I can feel myself slipping into blackness; I hope I'll wake up once more. If I don't you must know, my life's not complete without you. Oh Rachel, I love you.**

_I'll watch the night turn light-blue  
__But it's not the same without you  
__Because it takes two to whisper quietly_

My eyes can't seem to stop watering, and I can't seem to stop thinking. How could this have happened? You were the best they've ever seen. Now my ears pick up a small noise, I listen hoping it's you. Quietly I whisper, "I love you." But it's not the same without you to answer my plea for love.

_The silence isn't so bad  
_'_Till I look at my hands and feel sad  
_'_Cause the spaces between my fingers  
__Are right where yours fit perfectly_

**I wake up to find myself in a new dark room; I know I've never been here before. I look at my surroundings, hoping to find an exit. But all I can see are my hands, which are splayed across the ground. My heart starts to clench as I think of our first date. How your hands swayed to the rhythm with mine. Rachel, we were made for each other, I'll never forget it.**

_I'll find repose in new ways  
__Though I haven't slept in two days  
_'_Cause cold nostalgia  
__Chills me to the bone_

I look around this room, and I think it's all because of you. From the way I used your favorite colors, to the sweatshirt I always wear, I did it all for you. Hoping that one day, while I'm asleep you'll find your way back to me. It hurts me so deeply, to think that you're gone. Oh, please come home.

_But drenched in vanilla twilight  
__I'll sit on the front porch all night  
__Waist-deep in thoughts because  
__When I think of you I don't feel so alone_

**I can hear the water dripping somewhere in the distance. The silence is almost deafening. I close my eyes real tight and picture you beside me. You see we are at home, discussing your cooking skills. When I think of all the good times I feel like you're actually here with me.**

_I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone_

The way you used to laugh, the way you always called me sweetheart, they all make me want to cry. But now I welcome the tears because they bring me closer to you. When I think about you, it makes you seem closer to home.

_As many times as I blink  
__I'll think of you tonight  
__I'll think of you tonight_

**I see a man coming, but I'm not so sure. I hope that I'm wrong. But no matter what, I'll always think of you. Because when I let them hit me, I'm doing it for you. The new brightness is blinding, I blink my eyes to get used to it. Every time I blink, my thoughts run to you. You'd be blinking just like this, when our baby would smile. Rachel, please stay safe for me.**

_When violet eyes get brighter  
__When heavy wings get lighter  
__I'll taste the sky and feel alive again_

I finally fall asleep; thankfully this dreadful day is done. I can't help it if I hate this date; it always reminds me of what I lost. My dreams are all so peaceful; you're always there with me. We frolic in the meadow; you know the one at your parents' ranch? We're finally together, no harm done. I wish we could stay like this, but before I can ask you to stay you begin to disappear. Once you're gone I start to cry, I never got to tell you good bye, and oh Chris please forgive me. If it wasn't for me, you'd never have gone missing. I wish I never told you to take that mission.

_And I'll forget the world I knew you  
__But I swear I won't forget you  
__Oh, if my voice could reach  
__Back through the past  
__I'd whisper in your ear  
__Oh darling, I wish you were here_

**They tie me to this chair and begin to circle me. They ask me all these questions, but don't worry I won't answer. They ask me if I want you dead, but I tell them I never knew you. I know that sounds harsh, but I just want you safe. They ask me about Cammie, yes they know who she is. I'm sorry Rachel that I couldn't keep her safe. But they heard me mumble in my sleep. I whisper quietly to myself as they hit me with the bat. Just then the door flies open and in comes a girl in all black. She quickly kills all of the captors and then runs over to me.**

**She tells me everything will be fine, that I'll be home soon. She unties my hands as she cries, I wonder why that is? Some one yells chameleon and I stare up in shock. This is my daughter coming to rescue me. I tell her to run but she doesn't listen. Oh Rachel I'm sorry I can't keep her safe. Men come flying into the room as she finished all the knots, I'm too weak to help so I sit there helplessly. She's more deadly then I could have imagined, she takes all six out in 5 minutes. She calls in for Night as well as Probee. They come running in and carry me on their shoulders. **

**We are now out of the building and in a car; Cam is sitting with me, asking me questions. But I can't come to answer, because I keep thinking that I wish you were here. But Rachel don't worry, I kept my promise. I'm finally coming home.**

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**Review =]**


	2. The Breakthrough of love

**Okay upon request I have made a reunion scene... hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously it's not my song or story. **

_**BTW ONLY 11 MORE DAYS UNTIL ONLY THE GOODE SPY YOUNG COMES OUT!**_

Breakthrough by Colbie Caillat

**I hear a small creek downstairs and think **_**is that Joe or Cammie?**_** And what are they doing here? It's the middle of summer so Joe doesn't need permission for a project and Cammie's on a level 4 mission. God she's great at what we do. At level 3 before her 3 year mark, that's a record.**

I've always wanted this and now I'm finally getting it. I'm going home Rachael, back to you. Tears stream down my face as I sit here in HQ. They're asking me what happened. Rachel don't worry, I coming. You won't be alone anymore. Did I mention that I love you? Because I do.

_Why is it so hard  
It was so long ago_

**I run down the stairs but stop dead at what I see. Cammie she's crying, she never cries. I ask her what happened but she just shakes her head at me and tells me to follow her. We go to headquarters and she leads me to a holding room. I ask her again, but she just looks at me and breaks out into a grin that she usually saves for her fiancee, Zach. It looks a little funny considering she is covered in black and in gear, she has red puffy eyes, and Zach isn't here. Slowly she opens the door and says, "You finally get you're happy ending." I look at her in shock, could you really? NO! I will not let myself hope. Slowly I walk in. **

My mind is racing! Cammie just went to get Rachael. I'm finally going to see her in person. Tell her the one thing I've wanted to say since I was captured, I love you. My back itches against the plastic chair. You'd think that the richest company in the world could afford comfortable chairs, but no they can't. I here the door open and look up in hope. A long leg comes into view. My heart is now thumping so loud that probably a first year at Gallagher could here it.

_I don't know where to start or what to say to you  
I've been all alone needing you by my side  
But its not too late  
Maybe we just needed time  
Can we try to let it go?  
If we don't than we'll never know  
I try to break through but you know that its up to you_

**There you are finally. I look at you and just stand there, like a deer in headlights. Tears start to pour down my face, sobs come from my mouth as I look at you. How long has it been? 25 years? And now I can barely look at you. Not because of someone else, but because of what my suggestion did to you. How can you love me after all of this?**

I see you, you're real, not my imagination anymore. You're standing there in a simple white dress, looking like you did before I left. My voice seems to be stuck in heart because all I can do is open my mouth and close it like a fish. But yet all you do is stand there. Crying, but whats that look in your eyes? Regret, fright? Rachel, did you marry again? Because I don't think I could live without you in my life. I will have nothing to live for anymore. Tears stream down face and \ I feel like my heart breaking into more unbearably sharp pieces. They're cutting into my soul, the pain is nothing like I've ever felt before._  
_

_We say that time is meant to heal  
But it still hurts inside  
I wish that none of this was real  
Cause we're so far behind  
_

**I see a pained look go across your face. And I imagine what I must look like to you, regretful and scared in front of you. You must think I cheated on you. But I didn't. I quickly run across the room and into your arms. My heart pours out everything I've built up over the years. Years of solitude and strength for Cam. But I can't hold on anymore, and I sob into your shoulders. All this time we've missed, and I can feel like you're still gone. But time will change that and the pain and sorrow will just be a memory.**

_You've been all alone  
Needing me by your side  
But its not too late  
Maybe we just needed time  
Can we try to let it go  
If we don't than we'll never know_

You fit into my arms like before, perfectly. You're shaking so hard. I can't believe I did this to you. All this pain is not right for one person to have. But maybe just maybe, I'll make it go all away. But I'll save that for later. Right now I want to concentrate on you. Your hair, your scent, your solid body in my hands. Maybe just maybe we'll be able to put this behind us.

__

I try to break through  
But you know that its up to you  


**We go home and I show you the house I moved into a couple years ago. It's beautiful, jist like the one that we always wanted. I try to ask you how you are, but you just look at me and say it doesn't matter. I see that it's eating you up inside, but I can't heal you myself. You need to try, but don't worry I'll always be there for you. You just have to ask.**

_And I know that our love can grow  
But this damn river needs to flow  
I will try to break through but you know that its up to you_

You've asked again and again if I'm okay. But I'm not ready. Maybe later. But now I want to see how you are. But when I look back at where you were I see you standing there like you don't what to do. You say, "Can we get through this Chris. Years I've thought you were dead. How can we get passed this? How can you stand to even look a me when I'm the reason you missed your daughter's childhood?" I look at you in shock. "You think your to blame? Rachel, I could have said no. And yes I missed Cammie's life till now but we'll make up for it. Rachel, I love you and nothing else should matter " Just then I realize that maybe it's not just me that needs help. But no matter what I'll be your rock, just like you were mine when I was walking the line of insanity.

__

Its time to make a stand  
Maybe it won't last  
But we should take this chance  


**I take a deep breath and look up at you. "I love you too, Chris. I always have and always will." The look in your eyes makes me feel like I'm a little girl getting away from my abusive uncle. I feel like I could do anything. I feel like your love can make me live until I'm 200. After I say I love you, you look like you don't believe me. How can that be? I decide to show you just how much I love you. I run full power and hurl myself into you're arms. And I kiss you with all the emotion in me. Pain. Regret. Longing. Love. Happiness. Sorrow. Passion. _Everything._**

_Can we try to let it go  
If we don't than we'll never know  
I try to break through  
But you know that its up to you  
I know that our love can grow  
When this damn river needs to flow  
I will try to break through  
But you know that its up to you  
_

The kiss is everything I've needed since I was captured. I kiss back like I need it to breathe. Because I do. I feel your legs wrap around me and squeeze my waist. The kiss changes into something more, harder, full of longing and lust. I lick your bottom lip to ask for entrance into your mouth. You grant me access without a second thought. I quickly carry you into the bedroom. I feel myself getting hard just as you moan. I lay you down on the bed and start to trail hot kisses down your neck and collar bone. Oh god I need you Rachel. I look up and ask permission. Your eyes tell me everything I need to know. In one practiced motion I threw off your dress. Leaving you in just your bra and underwear. You flip me over and pull off my shirt as you stare down at me with lust filled eyes.

_I'll try to break through but you that its up to you  
I'll try to break through but you that its up to you _

**God I love you Chris. I look into your eyes as I suck on your nipple in my mouth. Long easy strokes of my tongue circle them as I enjoy the feel of you in my arms. All to soon you're back on top of me. You take off my bra and start to massage my left breast. Right then and there I knew, we'd get through this. Because since the beginning of time you've been able to breakthrough to me, and me to you.**


End file.
